When people think about conflict, they usually think negatively. Our work is about moving conflict concepts away from the lose-lose mentality to a win-win one, where conflict becomes...
MV Mediation is pleased to announce a $2,500 grant from the Martha’s Vineyard Bank Charitable Foundation to support the Youth Mediation Program and Peace Curriculum. The Peace Curriculum, developed by Executive Director Sara Barnes, is a 10-week conflict resolution and positive communication program designed to teach conflict resolution to the students of Martha’s Vineyard. Using integrative and hands-on activities, students learn to apply skills to resolve conflict in their day-to-day lives.
“I was terrified when I came into the court. It seemed like the end of the world. Thanks to my compassionate and understanding mediators, I was able to have a productive conversation with someone I considered an adversary. I couldn’t believe we were able to work it out without going in front of a judge. Thank you, MVMP.”
The missing element of re-entry services for incarcerated people in MA is the pro-social element. The Re-entry Mediation Program (ReMAp) focuses on this element, provided by a network of community mediation centers under a program administered by the MA Office of Public Collaboration at the McCormack Graduate School.
Sara Barnes
Lead mediator
Some in the court room who are waiting for District Civil or Small Claims cases are thinking, I've got a good case, I'm going to win. When we offer them mediation, there are some who take us up on our offer. The mediators say to both, "Its a voluntary process. Everything you say is confidential and the mediators are neutral. Its up to you and the other party to come to a self-determined agreement. The mediators will help you write it up and the court can enter it as a judgement if that is what you wish."
Mediation is an empowering process--those involved use their own ideas about fairness and negotiate with each other. The mediator guides them through the interplay. Those involved in the conflict decide how to settle the matter. Usually the parties are able to come to a mutually agreeable settlement. We work with the goal of a win-win outcome.
In more cases than we would like to see, though, the parties reject mediation. They say something like, I know I am going to win. I have a good case. Its airtight, so I"ll just let the magistrate or judge decide because I know they will decide for me. And I will win. A win-lose concept.
Yet when we check back later, we see that many of these cases were decided in exactly the opposite way-- and that by rejecting mediation the party gave up their chance at a more favorable outcome. Why is that?
When two people of relatively good intentions try to figure out what's fair--its based on their own ideas. Sharing those ideas can be illuminating. Sometimes the previous poor communication and misunderstandings can be worked out quickly just by creating a mediation space to really listen to each other. The parties themselves, the experts in the situation, can come a mutually satisfactory outcome together. It takes time and willingness to listen and negotiate. But it works.
When cases come to our office, in advance of court days; or if we provide mediation in the court setting, parties do not lose their rights to be heard in court. If no agreement can be crafted in mediation, then parties can still go to court and present their case.
What does the court do? They judge or magistrate applies the law to the case as it is presented. Those in court may have little understanding of how the law has to be applied and may not know that what may seem to them to be obviously unfair, is found in the favor of the other party. If parties in a dispute want to leave the outcome in the hands of the court, and if they are willing to possibly lose everything, then starting out in district civil court or small claims make sense.
We at MVMP, along with the judge and clerk-magistrate, always suggest using mediation services first. We believe in the power and benefit of self determination and have found that mediated agreements can have other positive and uplifting effects for those who participate. In the end, those in mediation usually find that it is an empowering process. Maybe frustrating and emotionally draining, but an overall strong and meaningful experience. For many, going to court can seem dis-empowering.
Our hope, of course, is for these cases to come to the Mediation program long before they end up in court. Call our office if you can't work it out yourself. "I tried to mediate it myself" was said by a defendant in court last month. This statement shows a misunderstanding. Mediation involves a neutral and qualified third party. As Judge Barnes, our new District Court Judge says, "If you tried to mediate yourself, you did the opposite of mediation. You can't do it yourself, you need to use the mediators. They are the best in Dukes County and they know how to help."
Sara Barnes,
President and Lead Mediator
October 17, 2019 is a worldwide celebration of Conflict Resolution Day. In Massachusetts the legislature has declared the week of October 14-18 Conflict Resolution Week.
Everyday is conflict resolution day at Martha’s Vineyard Mediation Program. Here are a few happenings from last week.
· Working on the Youth Mediation Program—creating partnerships with a youth organization so our mediators have a confidential setting for mediation services.
· Answering inquiries from numerous individuals and organizations who are seeking mediation, facilitation or conflict coaching services.
· Interacting with various divorcing couples and our in-house lawyer who prepares the court packets, in order to finalize divorce documents.
· Workplace conflict session #2 with a cohort of supervisors and managers who are working their way through a published conflict management text.
· Preparation of our quarterly reports to the offices of the Attorney General, District Court, Probate/Family Court and Massachusetts Office of Public Collaboration.
· Discussion with a sister mediation organization in order to consider a partnership on a complicated project.
· Preparation for the twice-yearly Introduction to Mediation course fielding inquiries and preparing materials.
· Drop by from a friend of the organization who was thinking about getting involved in MVMP.
· Meeting of the Conflict Coaches to develop their campaign to promote this free service for Martha’s Vineyard residents.
Sometimes we feel like we are in a tiny boat paddling hard against prevailing winds that push in the opposite direction. Your support and belief in our mission—to encourage and assist all residents of Dukes County to resolve conflicts through mediation and other constructive dispute resolution tools—keeps us afloat.
On October 17 we will celebrate Conflict Resolution Day, joining with thousands across the globe who take one day to lift up the notions that conflict resolution is the way forward toward peace and understanding. Add this one on to your list of holidays. Celebrate with MVMP.
