MVMP to Waive Mediation and Conflict Coaching Fees through June 2020

Nancy Grundman, Program Coordinator

As we all continue to comply with guidance to stay home until the public health crisis has improved, we would like to let you know what is happening with MVMP. We are continuing to provide our Conflict Coaching and Mediation services by conference call or by video conferencing. 

We have also been able to continue with many of our courses, trainings and workshops. We recently finished our Conflict Coaching class and are finishing up our Conflict Resolvers Course geared towards those individuals involved in public service. Both have continued through video conferencing. We will be rescheduling our Intro to Mediation class to the Fall. If you are interested in signing up please email us. 

Our Youth Mediators continue to meet through video conferencing to continue their training. Technology has given us the ability to continue operating even though everyone is in different places.

We, at MVMP, understand how stressful life is presently, 

• some are learning new ways of working remotely and a new way to deal with colleagues, 

• some are dealing with new financial realities,

• some are dealing with family issues, and

• some have previously unresolved small claims cases.

In solidarity with the Island Community and in order to do our part, MVMP will waive its fees for Conflict Coaching and Mediation Services until the end of June. We are committed to continue to help Islanders. As our tag line says, We Can Work it Out!

If you would like to make a donation to MVMP please go to MVmediation.org and go to Donate.  

Still Working from Home

Sara Barnes, Lead Mediator

We are home and doing our best to get through this time intact. Are you managing under the present circumstances?

In March the Mediation program was chugging along in one of our busiest months. Four courses up and running. About a dozen mediation cases moving forward. Some of us were planning to go off island for our statewide spring conference. We left one or another activity one day saying "see you next week!" And then. We didn't.

The new reality--its an overused phrase already. Who would have predicted that we would all know it means that we are staying far away from each other, learning new technology, checking the mirror to see our masked face. The news is grim and scary. We know people who are sick.

In difficult times, new ideas bubble to the surface. Otherwise, we would never have started writing a daily message about conflict resolution. Have you seen Working From Home the daily conflict resolution message? If not send us an email and we will add you on to the list.

Today two mediators held a perfectly normal mediation over a video conference platform. They were in different places, and managed to use their mediation tools and to help the disputants to come to an interim agreement.

The State conference happened on Monday. Online it took half the time and no one had to drive to see each other. Staring at ourselves in the video conference box, we found out what each other looks like in their living room, in their comfy chair, who has dogs and some interesting decor.

We are not under the mistaken impression that this situation is a good one. We know there is conflict out there, and we wish we could reach out to help more. And the inequities of the present moment seem particularly atrocious. We are thinking about each other and sending good thoughts to buoy spirits as best we can.

We were always in this together, though we might not have thought about it that way until now. Today, all of us at Martha's Vineyard Mediation are doing what we can to be a helpful part of our Island community. Let us know if there is something we can do to help you.

Court or Mediation? How to decide?

Sara Barnes

Lead mediator

Some in the court room who are waiting for District Civil or Small Claims cases are thinking, I've got a good case, I'm going to win. When we offer them mediation, there are some who take us up on our offer. The mediators say to both, "Its a voluntary process. Everything you say is confidential and the mediators are neutral. Its up to you and the other party to come to a self-determined agreement. The mediators will help you write it up and the court can enter it as a judgement if that is what you wish."

Mediation is an empowering process--those involved use their own ideas about fairness and negotiate with each other. The mediator guides them through the interplay. Those involved in the conflict decide how to settle the matter. Usually the parties are able to come to a mutually agreeable settlement. We work with the goal of a win-win outcome.

In more cases than we would like to see, though, the parties reject mediation. They say something like, I know I am going to win. I have a good case. Its airtight, so I"ll just let the magistrate or judge decide because I know they will decide for me. And I will win. A win-lose concept.

Yet when we check back later, we see that many of these cases were decided in exactly the opposite way-- and that by rejecting mediation the party gave up their chance at a more favorable outcome. Why is that?

When two people of relatively good intentions try to figure out what's fair--its based on their own ideas. Sharing those ideas can be illuminating. Sometimes the previous poor communication and misunderstandings can be worked out quickly just by creating a mediation space to really listen to each other. The parties themselves, the experts in the situation, can come a mutually satisfactory outcome together. It takes time and willingness to listen and negotiate. But it works.

When cases come to our office, in advance of court days; or if we provide mediation in the court setting, parties do not lose their rights to be heard in court. If no agreement can be crafted in mediation, then parties can still go to court and present their case.

What does the court do? They judge or magistrate applies the law to the case as it is presented. Those in court may have little understanding of how the law has to be applied and may not know that what may seem to them to be obviously unfair, is found in the favor of the other party. If parties in a dispute want to leave the outcome in the hands of the court, and if they are willing to possibly lose everything, then starting out in district civil court or small claims make sense.

We at MVMP, along with the judge and clerk-magistrate, always suggest using mediation services first. We believe in the power and benefit of self determination and have found that mediated agreements can have other positive and uplifting effects for those who participate. In the end, those in mediation usually find that it is an empowering process. Maybe frustrating and emotionally draining, but an overall strong and meaningful experience. For many, going to court can seem dis-empowering.

Our hope, of course, is for these cases to come to the Mediation program long before they end up in court. Call our office if you can't work it out yourself. "I tried to mediate it myself" was said by a defendant in court last month. This statement shows a misunderstanding. Mediation involves a neutral and qualified third party. As Judge Barnes, our new District Court Judge says, "If you tried to mediate yourself, you did the opposite of mediation. You can't do it yourself, you need to use the mediators. They are the best in Dukes County and they know how to help."

Our Year in Review

Our Year in Review

Christina Simmons, Board Member

With the year wrapping up and looking ahead to the future this is a chance to take a step back and reflect on all that we have accomplished. 2019 was a big year for MV Mediation Program. Part of our mission is to use education to encourage constructive dispute resolution. We are proud to have promoted our mission through education and in 2019 expanded our educational programs. 

Our educational programs and trainings grow both in the number of trainings and also in the variety of trainings offered. We were able to offer seven programs and courses with most trainings taking place over the course of many weeks. We were also happy to co-sponsor many of these programs with other local organizations such as the Chamber of Commerce, the YMCA and local libraries. Here is a sampling of what we offered:

·     Mediators Saturdays—Ongoing get togethers for mediators and apprentices to share best practices and build professional mediation skills.

·     Conflict Coaching Training—A 15 hour qualification for new Conflict Coaches with an additional apprenticeship process.

·     Introduction to Mediation Course—Offered in both the spring and fall each session was a 40 hour training and apprenticeship for MA qualified mediators.

·     Spring and Fall Workplace Conflict Workshops—Seven two-hour workshops to support employees, managers and others in creating a healthy workplace with positive approaches to conflict resolution.

 ·     Fall Conflict Management Cohort Course—20 hour course for Supervisors and Managers to develop proactive approaches to conflicts in the workplace.

 ·     Landlord Tenant Workshop—A two hour workshop for landlords and tenants to resolve conflicts and avoid problems with tenancies.

We are working to develop programming for 2020 that meets the needs of our community. There are already an exciting array of offerings. Look above and register on our website or by calling our office.

Do you have an idea of what kind of educational topics we should be developing? Drop us a line and let us know what you would like to learn more about the in the areas of conflict resolution and alternative dispute resolution.

December Mediation Musings

 

MVMP is part of a network of Massachusetts Community mediation programs--MOPC Massachusetts Office of Public Collaboration.

Our Program Director wrote the following:

Hi everyone,

It has become something of a tradition now for me to send out a note of thanks to mark this peculiarly American and wonderful holiday of Thanksgiving. I am thinking particularly about things to be grateful for and the importance of valuing those around you.

So with that in mind I want to acknowledge an amazing year of progress and transition for many and also the extreme amount of hard work put in to manage these changes.  For those interested in such things:

·       3330 mediations 72.68% of which reached agreement

·       Outreach carried out to 19,310 at 449 outreach events

·       35 basic mediation trainings and 219 specialized trainings

·       93% of participants happy with the process and 90% would recommend to someone else

·       Nearly 50% of participants reporting thought that mediation had built their skills, improved communication and reduced conflict/stress

·       3 new centers were brought into the re-entry program

·       A new Probate and Family Court pilot was begun

·       We conducted a successful conference with the Trial Court

·       Many were trained in conflict coaching and are now offering services

I could go on and on, but for those less interested in numbers and more interested in the feeling the work generates, you can know that everything that was achieved was done in collaboration and friendship. 

While you are sitting with your turkey, nut roast or protesting against the holiday as a colonialist relic, I hope you are not thinking about work.  However you can bask in some of the successes of the past year and be grateful for your role as peacemakers.  Thank you so much for everything you do.

Yours in solidarity

Ros

Rosalind Cresswell,

Program Manager, MOPC

Mediation Musings: Every Day is Conflict Resolution Day

by, Sara Barnes, President and Lead Mediator

October 17, 2019 is a worldwide celebration of Conflict Resolution Day. In Massachusetts the legislature has declared the week of October 14-18 Conflict Resolution Week.

Every day is conflict resolution day at Martha’s Vineyard Mediation Program. Here are a few happenings from last week.

• Working on the Youth Mediation Program—creating partnerships with a youth organization so our mediators have a confidential setting for mediation services.

• Answering inquiries from numerous individuals and organizations who are seeking mediation, facilitation or conflict coaching services.

• Interacting with various divorcing couples and our in-house lawyer who prepares the court packets, in order to finalize divorce documents.

• Workplace conflict session #2 with a cohort of supervisors and managers who are working their way through a published conflict management text.

• Preparation of our quarterly reports to the offices of the Attorney General, District Court, Probate/Family Court and Massachusetts Office of Public Collaboration.

• Discussion with a sister mediation organization in order to consider a partnership on a complicated project.

• Preparation for the twice-yearly Introduction to Mediation course fielding inquiries and preparing materials.

• Drop by from a friend of the organization who was thinking about getting involved in MVMP.

• Meeting of the Conflict Coaches to develop their campaign to promote this free service for Martha’s Vineyard residents.

Sometimes we feel like we are in a tiny boat paddling hard against prevailing winds that push in the opposite direction. Your support and belief in our mission—to encourage and assist all residents of Dukes County to resolve conflicts through mediation and other constructive dispute resolution tools—keeps us afloat.

On October 17 we will celebrate Conflict Resolution Day, joining with thousands across the globe who take one day to lift up the notions that conflict resolution is the way forward toward peace and understanding. Add this one on to your list of holidays. Celebrate with MVMP.

October Mediation Musings

Conflict Resolution Day: Every Day at MVMP

 Sara Barnes,

President and Lead Mediator

October 17, 2019 is a worldwide celebration of Conflict Resolution Day. In Massachusetts the legislature has declared the week of October 14-18 Conflict Resolution Week.

Everyday is conflict resolution day at Martha’s Vineyard Mediation Program. Here are a few happenings from last week. 

·       Working on the Youth Mediation Program—creating partnerships with a youth organization so our mediators have a confidential setting for mediation services.

·       Answering inquiries from numerous individuals and organizations who are seeking mediation, facilitation or conflict coaching services.

·       Interacting with various divorcing couples and our in-house lawyer who prepares the court packets, in order to finalize divorce documents.

·       Workplace conflict session #2 with a cohort of supervisors and managers who are working their way through a published conflict management text.

·       Preparation of our quarterly reports to the offices of the Attorney General, District Court, Probate/Family Court and Massachusetts Office of Public Collaboration.

·       Discussion with a sister mediation organization in order to consider a partnership on a complicated project.

·       Preparation for the twice-yearly Introduction to Mediation course fielding inquiries and preparing materials.

·       Drop by from a friend of the organization who was thinking about getting involved in MVMP.

·       Meeting of the Conflict Coaches to develop their campaign to promote this free service for Martha’s Vineyard residents.

Sometimes we feel like we are in a tiny boat paddling hard against prevailing winds that push in the opposite direction. Your support and belief in our mission—to encourage and assist all residents of Dukes County to resolve conflicts through mediation and other constructive dispute resolution tools—keeps us afloat.  

On October 17 we will celebrate Conflict Resolution Day, joining with thousands across the globe who take one day to lift up the notions that conflict resolution is the way forward toward peace and understanding. Add this one on to your list of holidays. Celebrate with MVMP.

September Mediation Musings

At least one, if not all of our principles: Confidentiality, Voluntariness, Neutrality and Self-Determination; function as guide stars for each service we offer. It's good to have principles to hold on to when we do mediation, facilitation, conflict coaching or educational work. These principles unite our organization and provide us with shared core values.

Communicate Carefully might well be considered another one of our principles because we know that successful practitioners in the conflict resolution field are precise and thoughtful in their communication. Choosing the right word or phrase, listening carefully, matching cadence and tone, being aware of how messages can be put in a more effective way, studying language and usage-- all are ways we can become more expert communicators. I found this article to be a great read in this regard. I hope you enjoy it and learn from it as I have. 

Will we see you at one of our many upcoming activities? Workplace conflict is a big focus for the coming months. The Youth Project continues with two videos being edited and mediation services for youth now available with our newly trained Youth Mediators. The Introduction to Mediation course begins on October 3. We are, as usual, providing conflict resolution services to individuals and organizations as we continue to serve our community. We are scheduling into November and December now because we are so busy!

Thanks for your great support for our work.

Sara Barnes, President MVMP