WHILE WE ARE KEEPING SOCIAL DISTANCE AND HAVE A LOT OF TIME ON OUR HANDS, LET’S DO SOME CONFLICT RESOLUTION…
DIGITAL WORLD AND CONFLICT
What do we know about conflicts in the digital age?
Hear the text notification. Open the phone to your email. Look on facebook, instagram or snapchat. Ever had an emotional reaction in any of these digital environments? Of course, it's natural.
Historical perspective
Our human ancestors developed in small family groups, most people knew each other. Conflict was in person, and the result was a shared result. There was a mutual benefit to resolving conflict--the clan needed harmony in order to overcome the world's hostile forces.
The printing press expansion of reading capability meant that the written word could spread one person's ideas far beyond their community. A raging controversy could be spread out over a long period of time as dueling publications sparred. In the industrial age, radio and television sped up the process.
The internet has only been in common use for twenty years. Texting and smart phones for a bit more than ten years. Facebook is sixteen years old. So we are the first generation living in the digital age. And in a very different way than throughout history, conflicts are played out in public on social media and online.
Quick judgement
Our ancestors survived because of our human ability to make quick judgments, Danger! Friend! Foe! For most of our history we needed quick thinking to survive. Today's digital communication turns the issue of speed on its head. Scrolling through twitter posts we can encounter a vast array of ideas and opinions. But while sitting on our couch with the world's knowledge in our hands--we are still the result of our evolutionary drive for survival. We are quick to judge. And the resulting reaction often looks like moral outrage in the person who has found themselves in an online conflict.
Moral outrage
There's recent research into the online conflict cycle. The combination of the quick response, adrenaline filled jousting and human nature to be drawn to spectacle can be a toxic stew for conflict. In the podcast linked below you can hear a fascinating look into this process. There may be an addictive aspect. Understanding what forces draw certain people into these debates is a new area of study. Keep your eye on this.
Bias and discrimination
The digital age has driven a new form of the us and them ideology--where people who differ, disagree or are unfamiliar become them and only those with our own embraced attributes are deemed as us. The mean spirited racism, misogyny, anti-Semitism, homophobia, regionalism etc, etc, seem to be byproducts of the present age. As Devorah Heitner says in her article linked below, "There is the tendency to feel less empathetic when there’s a screen in between."
Is there any bright spot?
The internet and all its tools can be a great support for conflicts, despite all the above.
Learning about the various ways that others live their lives through internet research.
Keeping in touch to keep the lines of communication open through email. text or social media
As we learn about the limitations of online messages, developing ways to be more careful about communication and removing conflict escalating language.
Mediation, conflict coaching and conflict facilitation take place easily over online platforms--usually video or phone conferencing.
Some ideas here
While we are all home and online more than usual here's some tips for not stirring up conflict on line:
Only allow yourself to write kind or neutral comments online.
Be aware that text is missing tone and body language, be overly careful communicating by text or email.
Walk away from online arguments, especially on social media.
Pick up the phone or video chat for difficult conversations.
Consider that anything your write on line lives forever.
Use the internet to undo your preconceived notions about other people and cultures.
Go out and take a walk in nature, with your mask and six feet apart if necessary.
Do this:
Read or listen to this great information about moral outrage and the internet. Is online moral outrage like addiction? Listen here
Even though this article is aimed at parents to help children, there's plenty of adults who might need it more. Conflict resolution & digital natives
Look for websites or email newsletters with positive news and ideas. Examples: Yes newsletter Yes newsletter or Greater Good newsletter Greater Good
Research the other side, sign up to read information from the perspective on the opposite side of your opinions.
