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November Mediation Musings

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Workplace Conflict: You need more tools in your tool bag

Ugh I have to go to work. 

Thank god Its Friday. 

No one died wanting more days at work.

Our culture is full of all kinds of negative messages about work and working. Here on the Vineyard we would all like to be happily following our passions and living the dream. But the reality for many is that work is stressful and depleting.

Its not the conflicts that one successfully resolves that eat away at us. We are likely proud of our efforts when we solve a conflict. We likely see the result as an accomplishment. Resolved conflicts can build us up and make us feel strong enough to face the next challenge.

It’s the ones that got away, the arguments left unfinished, the patterns that never change, the unaddressed unfairness, the interpersonal difficulties never settled. These are the conflicts that make us miserable at work. If you ever stayed up at night chewing over a work situation and dreaded the morning alarm, unresolved conflict may be the explanation. 

MVMP has been working to help. In partnership with the Chamber of Commerce and Oak Bluffs Library we are now presenting our sixth of seven 2019 lunchtime workplace conflict workshops. Upcoming is Toxic Workplaces on November 14 and Team building on December 12. We will probably repeat the series in the spring.

We also offer a course on workplace conflict that meets weekly. On Tuesday mornings, a cohort of managers and supervisors meet in a private ongoing course to discuss a professional conflict management text and offer each other suggestions and ideas about handling workplace conflicts. This group will complete their ten sessions in December. Participants earn a certificate in workplace conflict management. The next course will be offered for new members at the end of January.

Knowledge about how to analyze conflict, manage emotions and use effective dispute resolution tools can help all of us. We spend so much of our time at work and yet most of us don’t have enough strategies to effectively resolve conflicts. MVMP is honored to be able to offer some assistance for community members. It is our hope that our efforts will help to make Martha’s Vineyard a happier more productive place—a place where our work lives can be a component of ‘living the dream.’

Sara Barnes,

President and Lead Mediator

Testimonials

“I was terrified when I came into the court. It seemed like the end of the world. Thanks to my compassionate and understanding mediators, I was able to have a productive conversation with someone I considered an adversary. I couldn’t believe we were able to work it out without going in front of a judge. Thank you MVMP.”

– Small Claims Client

“I was really not looking forward to mediation. But it turned turned out to be relatively pleasant. I really enjoyed working with the two of you. I plan to recommend mediation to others.”

– Divorce Client

“You brought us all together. It was awesome. I am so relieved. All our people felt uplifted, more united and part of a team. In particular one Board member said she felt she was taken care of with kindness and wisdom. We all know each other much better, have defined our work together and are in such better shape than we were when we started. Thank you MVMP.”

– Facilitation Client

“If you have the chance to do Conflict Coaching, DO IT! It was eye opening for me. My coach was kind, insightful and such a great listener. Most importantly, I learned so much about myself and about how I handle conflict. I now have a good, solid conflict management plan for the future.”

– Conflict Coaching Client

“It was valuable to help me handle a current conflict in my workplace. Putting a positive spin on conflict was an eye-opener for me. It gives me a structure to address problems. We had a very serious conflict at work recently so this is very important and relevant to me right now.”

– Workplace Conflict Management Services