Day 36: Digital Conflicts
By: Sara Barnes
Conflicts in the Digital Age:
The ding of a text notification. The swoosh of an outgoing email. That little red bubble alerting you to Facebook and Instagram messages.
Ever had an emotional reaction in any of these digital environments? Of course, it's natural.
Historical Perspective:
Our human ancestors developed in small family groups where most people knew each other. Conflict was in person, and there was a mutual benefit to resolving disputes -- the clan needed harmony in order to overcome the world's hostile forces.
The printing press expansion of reading capability meant that the written word could spread one person's ideas far beyond their community. A raging controversy could spread out over long distances and time as dueling publications sparred. In the industrial age, radio and television accelerated the process.
The internet has only been in common use for twenty years. Texting and smart phones for a bit more than ten years. Facebook is nineteen years old. We're the first generation living in the digital age. And for the first time in history, conflicts play out online with a global public reach.
Pitfalls of Conflict in the Digital Age:
Quick judgment:
Our ancestors survived due to the ability to make quick judgments, Danger! Friend! Foe! For most of our history, quick thinking equaled survival. Today's digital communication turns the issue of speed on its head. Scrolling through posts, we encounter a vast array of ideas and opinions. Sitting on our couch with the world's knowledge in our hands, we still possess the evolutionary drive for survival, and our instincts nudge us to judge quickly.
Moral outrage:
Some recent research into the online conflict cycle suggests the combination of the quick response, adrenaline filled jousting, and human nature drawn to spectacle can be a toxic stew for conflict...there may even be an addictive aspect.
Bias and discrimination:
The digital age has driven a new form of the us and them ideology -- where people who differ, disagree or are unfamiliar become them and only those with our own embraced attributes are deemed as us. Mean spirited racism, misogyny, anti-Semitism, homophobia, regionalism, etc., seem to be byproducts. As author and speaker Devorah Heitner says in her article Dealing with Digital Conflicts, "There is the tendency to feel less empathetic when there’s a screen in between."
Bright spots for Conflicts in the Digital Age:
Despite all the above, digital tools can be a great support for conflicts, such as:
Educating ourselves about the various ways that others live their lives through internet research.
Keeping lines of communication open through email, text or social media.
Developing ways to be more careful about communication, removing conflict escalating language in response to the limitations of online messages.
Using video and phone teleconferencing options to conduct mediation, conflict coaching and conflict facilitation with ease and bridging geographical barriers.
Some tips for avoiding online conflict:
Only allow yourself to write kind or neutral comments online.
Be aware that text is missing the human tone and body language that can soften a comment.
Walk away from online arguments, especially on social media.
Pick up the phone or video chat for difficult conversations.
Consider that anything you write online lives forever.
Use the internet to undo your preconceived notions about other people and cultures.
Texting is not your friend when you're resolving a conflict:
When you have a conflict, avoid texting! Text based conflicts with each person trying to out do each other with long winded writing is almost guaranteed to cause more conflicts. As a general rule, conflicts aren't resolved by texting. Try putting the phone down, taking a deep breath, and talking face to face - or at least voice to voice.
The digital world may eventually provide some help for conflicts. There's a mediator bot in development and AI dispute resolution innovations are on the horizon.
So far, though, the overwhelming pace of information, opinions, and false information is tending to cause conflicts that many find difficult to handle.
Your own self-reflection is your best bet as we all learn how to stay healthy in the ever-changing digital world.
Today is Black and White Carnival in Colombia, South America celebrating ethnic and cultural differences and focused on a mutual desire for a future of tolerance and respect.