Day 37: Personality
By: Sara Barnes
Over the last few decades, personality tests have gained popularity -- in magazines, newspapers and now online -- suggesting a wide-ranging interest in self-discovery.
Personality as a concept, based on trait theory, is an approach to defining individuals and groups. We can all try to place ourselves along the continuum ranges of what are referred to as the Big Five personality traits: (1.) openness to experience, (2.) conscientiousness, (3.) extraversion, (4.) agreeableness, and (5.) emotionality.
What does personality have to do with conflict?
I’m not sure about the direct relationship between any of these traits and ability to successfully resolve disputes. One use of these categories might be to use them as an additional lens for thinking about the other person - and yourself - as you begin discussing and resolving controversies.
Openness: When we try to figure each other out, conflicts can arise between those on either end of the curious/cautious spectrum. Imagine two travelers, one venturing into new places without a map and the other wanting the safety of a planned guided tour.
Conscientiousness: We're all familiar with the friction between one person who tends toward efficiency, neatly organizing the world around them, while the extravagant and less orderly person feels comfortable with untidy details.
Extraversion: There’s been quite a bit of learning about this trait recently, where one measure is to ask folks if they feel depleted or energized when in socializing situations. Negotiating with those around you about degrees of quiet solitude or lively parties is an interesting and complex matter.
Agreeableness: Conflicts arise all the time between folks who tend toward either side of this barometer, with compassionate folks having difficulty understanding those who tend toward critical thinking.
Emotionality: Some wear their hearts on their sleeve and are quick to having emotional reactions, while others are less driven by emotions and tend toward an outer demonstration of resiliency.
How can I use the Big Five traits as I try to have a more peaceful life?
We can all work toward being more accepting of how others are, even if their tendencies differ from our own. Families and your work life might benefit from using a strengths-based approach by focusing on others’ strong suits instead of judging them for their perceived weaknesses. Everyone has gifts and skills related to where we fit on the five traits measure -- that’s what makes us each unique and valuable.
Unresolved conflict can be helped by developing a willingness to believe that we each have a role to play in creating places, spaces, families and communities where everyone can thrive.
Lunar New Year: Not everyone celebrates a new year according to the Gregorian calendar. Lunar New Year this year is January 29, and millions of people around the world celebrate with the full moon, red envelopes, fireworks and celebratory feasts.