Conflict and dispute resolution is a difficult process for folks to wrap their heads around. As mediators and other conflict resolution service providers seek help participants, they find themselves drawing upon various types of figurative and symbolic language. As Tammy Lenski, conflict resolution researcher and practitioner, writes: “The way we frame a problem has a powerful impact on the solutions we can see . . . metaphor(s) orients us differently to a conflict and influences how we think, act, and resolve it.”
I love a good image for talking about conflict. Imagine the Ferris wheel as the conflict. Each point along the route is a stage in the conflict. It’s a metaphorical reminder of the cyclical nature of conflict. Is the wheel turning fast—before you know it you have covered some distance? Or does it seem to be going in slow motion, each click of the mechanism inching you away from the ground?
Metaphors for Conflict
Fire
Fire is another helpful image for conflict. Is the fire getting bigger, burning out? Did that comment just put another log on the conflict fire? The comparison can be helpful when working with folks who are trying to improve their communication. “How about we take some time and let this fire burn down.” Or “Is there something you think you can say or do that would put some water on this conflict fire?”
Iceberg
When mediators learn about analyzing the conflicts that come to mediation, they learn to think about the iceberg. With only a small percent of the story appearing above the surface, the idea is for the neutral person to search under the surface for the hidden needs, feelings, identities, values, and interests that are driving the conflict.
Cairn
I like the metaphor of the balanced rocks of the cairn. It’s an easy image to grasp since conflicts often start with everything busted and arrayed on the ground. The biggest rock goes first and gets placed as the foundation, then the next and the next. Everything has to be in balance, and vagaries of size, shape, and weight make a difference. A cairn takes patience and trial and error to make successfully. The cairn is also a way finder in ancient and modern trail making. The cairn says, “I was here, I put this together to show you the way, I took the time to balance these rocks and I hope it will withstand the elements.” Sort of like the process of resolving a conflict, step by step. It’s a metaphor for what we do.
Read a longer version with lots more metaphors and follow up articles here.